Friday, June 22, 2018

A time for mourning and a time for dancing

Hello friends of myhandsful! After a long hiatus I am back😀

It was a dark and scary place for a while there, which is why nothing public was here. But let me tell you God has done beyond anything we could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21).

You may remember that I said we were caring for my mom who has FTD and is in assisted living. After her move, we had some bumps in the road as far as her finances. Mainly there was some disagreement as to whether her cognitive impairment was significant enough to keep her from handling her own affairs. She and I said "no" but others said "very much so". And so ensued a year-and-a-half battle in the courts over her estate.

Along the way, I was accused of elder abuse for receiving funds from an inheritance given to her by her father's widow after she died, and for using them for help in buying a home, helping my kids with braces and summer camp, etc.  Anything used from that account was called in to question, to determine whether it was really used for her, or for my own benefit. While I claimed she had capacity to choose for herself whether to give those funds to her daughter and grandchildren, others argued that she did not have capacity and as her power-of-attorney I was culpable for taking them. It was said I had failed in my fiduciary duty to conserve her assets for her care.

It got pretty ugly I must say, and repeatedly I felt unjustly treated as I was doing so much to make sure she was being looked after, while at the same time being vilely accused. On many occasions, I had said I was willing to pay back the funds if she ever ran short and needed them, but over and over again it was reported that I had adamantly refused. All we really wanted was for her sister to be appointed conservator and Trustee, but we were told over and over that the other side refused. Many times it seemed as though she was never going have things turn out the way she wanted them, and things seemed to get murkier and murkier.

Then last week, we went to court and in a complete reversal, Mom walked away with the outcome she was looking for! All her accounts will be looked after by her sister as conservator and she will have all her financial needs met as well as some of her desires so long as they are approved. It was a complete answer to prayers said on both sides of the matter and was such a relief to all concerned.

You could just feel it in the air, the tight, hateful feelings were replaced by release and understanding -- it was none other than God at work -- and because of the eleventh hour timing, it was even more astounding!

There will probably be a much lengthier series of posts, once all is said and done, to share the journey I have gone through over these years, but right now we are just so pleased for my mom and for all of us who no longer have to bear this weight on our shoulders. Rejoice with us and check back to see what else is happening at myhandsful!

Monday, July 11, 2016

Summer Blur

If you're anything like me, you look forward to Summer being a chance for some down-time and catching up on pleasure reading or movies/shows you've missed. But if you're anything like me, you find that Summer is busier than ever running from one great outing or get-together to another, not to mention throwing in medical or dental appointments which you left for a "less busy" time. Not only are my weeks filled up, but I am having trouble finding days that are not already jam-packed with something. Help!

For those of you who know us at myhandsful, you know that we really try to keep things simple, not plan more than one thing into each weekend or even one day, if we can help it. As a T1d parent, I know that emergencies, or at least surprises are going to show up along the way, and we don't want to be so max'd out that we don't have room in our schedule (or in our psyche) to handle them. So how did it get like this?

Well to be honest, having three kids is one factor. With two in high school, it's easy be pulled in many directions, as they have their own plans and NOT their own way of getting there. I have tried to consolidate and conserve, but we still make multiple trips shuttling people around. I know this is an old tale, the mom who feels more like a taxi driver, but even the driving doesn't get to me all that much. Still I feel so unnerved...

I am reminded of an old Sunday School object lesson: you have a mason jar and some whole walnuts and some rice. If you put the rice in first, then you find you don't have room enough for the walnuts. But if you put the walnuts in first, all the rice fills around them and you can fit them both in the jar. the point was to put the big things, the more important things in first, then you can rest, knowing the other things will fall into place.

It goes along with the message in Matthew 6:32-33 "For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" NIV

My Summer may be going by in a blur, but this is something I can do while it's here, I can purposefully place those walnuts - time in the word, prayer, service - into my day, onto my calendar, before all the other things, the rice. Do a reset and get it built in, so that when the next school-year begins and the seasons come charging along, I will be better equipped after the Summer than I was going into it. It is a discipline, and it may feel like just one more thing "to do" but it is one that brings relief to the running around that plagues so many of us.